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Author Topic: 5/25/23-6/4/23  (Read 6213 times)


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« on: May 25, 2023, 04:59:56 PM »
I took the option to modify, delete, and lock the post, due to the request by an Ex-pat that one of my descriptors was not welcome and to avoid unexpected consequences by sharing more info on locals than was necessary. If someone has a problem with my actions, I saw little other choice, as I am not in the business of causing undue stress on another expat. The majority of my stay is listed. I left in some of my experiences, and not others that aren't related to the short stay. I apologize to those who contributed, but I think you all shared enough with each others that the original post served its purpose.

5/25/23: I arrived at New Garden a couple of hours ago. It was very busy at check-in and they gave me the wrong room. By the time I unpacked and thought to check my itinerary, I’d already showered and chica-proofed the room. It should have been obvious, as they put me in a room on the silver side. However, I’m too punch drunk to think straight. They begrudgingly moved me, and I was sweating bullets running from one side to the other.

I am trying to work up the strength to at least go out and get a massage and handy or BJ. I think that’s about the extent I will be able to muster tonight. This is a young man’s game.  Hopefully I will have something more interesting to report in the days ahead. Sorry if the initial post is anti-climactic, but we have to start somewhere.

I tried to take a nap, but that didn’t work out. So, I ran down to get a massage right down the road from New Garden on the right hand side walking toward Playa Alicia. Luz was my therapist. She’s down for massage 1000 per hour, which is a really good, strong massage. It knocked the kinks out of my legs an and ass from the air travel over the last couple of days. An extra 1000 DOP gets a happy ending. 1500 is covered oral. She’ll only discuss in the room. She pulled out a beautiful pair for 500 extra, but the handy was lack luster. With that said, I might actually repeat, the strong massage was great!

I retreated to the New Garden around midnight to get some rest. However, as I was heading back, I spoke to a tight, and very fit woman at the corner of DR Rosen and PC. She was objectively hot. That’s where the good news ends.

She had a cock and said she wanted to f--k me. Jesus H Christ on a candle stick, literally, she looked and sounded like an actual girl. Buyer beware, you might not find out until you have him in the room. I’ve been all over the world and can always tell a tranny, but this one was completely undetectable. They put my hand on his/her tucked appendage, while giving me the baby, baby take me pleas. I guess she thought I might be gay, but closeted?

In the end, I really don’t care what two consenting adults do with a curling iron, a horse and a midget clown, in the confines of their abode. However, I’d rather not get duped. To his/her credit they let me know early enough in negotiations, but others may not. My point was you could not tell with this one, and if you’re drunk enough, or it’s loud enough, you might not get the verbal message.

5/26/23: I grabbed an air BnB as a second spot. It’s just down the street from Flip-Flop. It has a balcony overlooking the road to the beach. I checked in and was standing out on the balcony and saw Merina, tall tight butt, dark skin, pert b-cups and a short hairdo with blonde highlights. She smiled and I pointed down to the door. I came down and we negotiated a quick BJ, my offer of 1500 vs her 3000, settling on 2000 DOP.

She wasn’t sketchy back in the room. Good technique, but poor stamina. She did kiss passionately, and slid her body very well, but her jaw wasn't the strongest. I’m not big, so I think she was sore from a big one the night before. The only reason I think she wasn’t being lazy was, she offered sex instead. Win-Win, kinda’. However, I was really looking forward to a laid back BJ, instead of sawing away and working up a sweat.

I got a jaegerschnitzel at Schlemmers Stube (Gourmet Room in English) while it rained. It’s f--king wonderful to find it here in Sosua, and almost as good as Germany. I then ambled down to the Finish Line Bar and met the owner, Mike. He, is good people, as most Canadians are. I then proceeded to spill not one, but two drinks on the bar. He retorted that that had never happened there and let out a comforting laugh. I took it as a sign to take my leave and take a nap. 

The talent is surprisingly good. The cops are still chasing the Chica’s, and grabbed a couple last night, which oddly caused the girls who were just diving into bars to run toward the cops while they were arresting two and wrestling them on the street. It was bizarre.

There are quite a few people in town. Hence, I couldn’t schedule my stay at Casa Valeria. There are plenty of women to compensate for the influx, as supply rises to meet demand.

Saturday 5/27/23: Received the eternal blessings of Emperor Montezuma’s revenge. I had a Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri  yesterday morning on Playa Sosua, and think that may be the culprit. If you want to stay healthy, especially for a short trip, DO NOT drink unbottled water, ice in your drink, or eat salad. If you stick to bottled drinks, fried foods and breads, you’ll likely stay safe from camping out on the toilet.

I might as well review the room while I’m here and up at 7 A.M. I don’t know how New Garden stays in business? The place is on life support. They charge nearly the same amounts as Casa Velaria next door, but you get much less.

The shower barely functions. The cold water line is a drip, the hot water is not much better, but works… just barely. You don’t have enough cold to mix in to keep it from scalding you. So, the strategy is, I shut off the hot, get some cold in the line then turn it back on and use the 20 second burst of a Goldilocks water temp to shower. I’m probably going to take my ass to my AirBnB to shower and try that out.

The furniture is obviously dated, as you see in the photo’s online. However there’s no real wardrobe. The safe in my current room is functioning without a hitch, but the first room I had, the safe stopped working when I went to move rooms. The batteries in the safe had fallen out inside, as there was no battery compartment cover. My current safe has electrical tape holding the batteries in the compartment. The few electrical outlets there are, do not all function. The layout of the hotel isn’t bad, and location is optimal. The toilet works, that I know for sure. The door locks are tricky and not confidence building. The AC and fan are great.

The balcony is a welcome addition, overlooking the pool and entrance, with a partial view of the street. The room entrance side overlooks the Baseball Field. There was a game last night, and it’s pretty loud, but you’ll be out and about when they are playing anyway. I can’t say the same for the Roosters. All in all New Garden is now bottom of my list of places I’d consider for future trips. It’s even below Ahnvee, which takes some doing. I thought about just staying over there on the silver side, but the room was tiny and the safe was problematic. However, the keycard system was much better than the double key system on the older/traditional side.

I went to my airBnB to shower, it was everything my shower at New Garden wasn’t. Hot/cold water with good pressure. I was going to shave, but thought f--k-it, there was a guy tapping on the window at a Barbershop “Beau Benz” between  Bailee’s and the Market on the opposite side of the street. So, I went back over. It was 1000 for a shave face and head (I’m bald). He did an excellent job, taking almost an hour, he did ears, nose eyebrows, face and head. It was top notch. I tipped him an additional 1000. The guy deserves it. On my way out he brought me upstairs to show me a salon they are opening for men and women, with manicure and pedicure. I’d highly recommend this place.

I’m well aware I overpaid. However, the guy had an empty shop and it was the second day in a row that he was actively standing at the window looking for customers. He works hard and nobody was in the shop. I make what I gave him in 15 minutes.he worked for an hour. I’m good with it. Chica’s are a different story as they are looking for a reason to milk me. This guy may have gringo’d me up front, but provided quality service.

I set up at Mofongo on the beach. The talent was pretty sparse. I’d say 1 out of 10 was do-able. However, old white guy here, looking for skinny Minnie’s. If you want a little more meat, there was plenty in abundance. But, the face’s were 6/7 quality. What I am finding, is there’s just no substitute for setting up on the strip. No amount of pre-gaming on Social media, sitting at the beach stroll, or staking out the chica dormitories is going to give you the quality choices available on PC when the sun goes down. I’ll try everything again after the Holiday/weekend warriors depart.

Sunday 5/28: I came back from the strip last night at 9:30 to take a 2 hour snooze. It’s now 8:26 AM the next day. So, no acrobatics to report. The talent on the strip was fairly thin. It was drizzling for short periods over the evening last night, but there wasn’t too much Police presence. I think it is Dominican Mothers Day today? I heard a few locals talking and that’s what I could glean. Well, seeing as I have a global research device in my hand, I decided to check, and yes today is their Mothers Day.

I don’t know if most weekend warriors will be leaving today or Tuesday we shall see how the Holiday, there’s and ours, impacts the monger to chica ratio. I’m guessing many girls went home for today? I saw this once in Cambodia. The bars were full one night and then bam, empty the next two days for some family holiday.

I was down on the beach. I rented a chair and umbrella 600 pesos. It was 400 initially, and then he pumped me for more, that was going to be his tip anyway, so no loss. A French family came and set up next to me a few hours later, and were chattering non-stop, so I headed back to my AirBnB to check my WhatsApp contacts and see who was available. One quoted $100, and another was upset that I didn’t contact her yesterday, they both got a block and delete.   

Zero Dominicans other than employees of Bars/tourist trips/Restaurants. The place was full of Haitians. There were a few obvious working girls enjoying their time, swimming in their underwear/lingerie. One woman was wearing lingerie with some “sexy” stocking extensions. Think 1980’s Sears catalog. Maybe that’s how some of them do their laundry? 

Shit was thin. I was regularly quoted 3500 pesos. One girl started off in Dollars. I told her I don’t do USD, and keep it moving. Funnily enough she was sitting behind the tiny Hatiana I took for 3000. She spoke very good english, had a tight body with one exception being a C-section scar, gave fantastic head, ball licking, rimjob, everything. The cooter was tight but I wanted more of that Gagless head to finish. It was so good, I failed to get her number, and promptly forgot her name.

She did leave behind a pair of earrings. I went on a stroll around the block to return them, but she must have called it a night. Well, I’ll just carry them with me tomorrow and see if she turns up. They’re probably 25 pesos, but it’s the principle of the thing.

5/29/23: I have strolled around this morning. Nothing much to report. Even the massage girls are sub-par. There’s usually at least one hot one in a group of three.

I picked up my laundry, a pretty big bag for 1000 pesos. It is the first Launderia on the right hand side from New Garden, going to Playa Alicia. The laundry was clean, but the folding was worse than my kids. I’m going to try the next one down from that guy. It was full of Grannies. So, I may get a better fold job.

I’m waiting for the Milfy light skinned Dominican to show up for work on Calle La Puntilla, to get a massage. Right now it’s just the fat dark skinned girl. Although, it has been my experience that fat girls give the best head, because they have to, in order to keep a guy. There is a cute Haitian on La Puntilla, but her massage establishment looks a little too professional. Who knows, I might give them both a go, as they are across the street from each other. Maybe back-to-back no pun intended.

The very pretty light skinned milf at the massage shop on the left as you pass the blue apartment balcony on La Puntilla on the way to the Beach, was a no-go for me. The hour massage was 1000. I tipped 200 to be polite. It was very good, and I left smelling like a mint julip. However, she kept a washcloth on my junk when I flipped over. No discussion at the end, no offers. Just “we finished”. While her massage was great, I can get a better one by Luz, who I had a few nights ago, plus a handy or BJ with the puppies out.

I was sitting at Schlemmers Stube and it was mostly long term expats. You could tell they were regulars, as a couple were paying their tabs, and were brought drinks without asking. Girls were walking in, and saddling up next to them, and no other girl looked their way. If anyone watches TMI Santiago on YouTube, I think he coined the term, halfpat. Someone who doesn’t stay full time. Travel and retirement circles refer to them as snowbirds. I talked to Mike at his Bar, the Finish Line, and he seemed perfectly happy here for decades. It is worth considering a long term stay of 28 days or more, if you have the DR on your retirement list.

Tuesday 5/30/23: I dropped off my Laundry at the Lavendaria, that did the poor folding job. I could not re-locate the spot I saw the other day on the same side of the street on the right going toward Playa Alicia. Maybe I’m retarded, I don’t know? It might have just been a Hotel Laundry viewable from the street?

I ate the free breakfast at New Garden. I ordered pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. The waitress repeated my order. I got pancakes, toast, eggs sunny side up and sausage. I just chuckled. It’s free and I got coffee.

I went to the bank to exchange some USD. Very quick and a pretty good rate. You just need your passport. The guy in front of me used his stateside license, but I don’t know if that will suffice every time you go. I saw a few people drawing off of cards. So, if you find yourself in a bind, that is an option. However, I’d remember to use a card with zero foreign transaction fees, as you don’t want the cash advance fee and foreign transaction fees on both ends.

I saw a trip review from last month, about a Girl named Marlene. The reviewer said her BJ was great, she swallows, and will bring other girls into the mix if you want. So, I called her over to release the pressure. It was OK, not bad, not great. Body was a skinny, too many tattoos for my taste, and a little saggy in the chest. She was nice enough to take a blast to the face, and showed up within twenty minutes of contact. 2500, plus 500 propina, because she was so accommodating.

I put a ten peso coin on top of the bills, and she just left it on the bed. I don’t know if she thought I was testing her, insulting her, or she didn’t want the change anymore than I did? I guess I’ll throw it in the kitty for the maid.

So, now I’m headed off to find lunch and a massage, and it won’t matter if there’s no happy ending.

I went back to Dolci e Sapori Cake & Kitchen to try their Lasagna. It did not disappoint. That Lasagna is top 3 in my life. I’m married to an Italian, had Lasagna in Italy, and cooked for me in the states by fresh off the boat grannies as a kid. This almost beats all of them. The only reason it’s third, I’d feel guilty rating it above some in-laws.

Haitians, Haitians, and more Hatiana! All over the strip. I wish  I hadn’t shot my wad earlier today. se lavi konsa

Wednesday 5/31/23: I didn’t pull anything last night. Woke up this morning to our friendly neighborhood rooster, and a large group of fellow hotel patrons in the courtyard living their best lives by the pool. Extra-cuticular aside, it’s very relaxing and completely absent of stress here. One guy commented to a friend that he ate three lobsters yesterday. He knows he’s going to get gout, but he’ll get it on his couch at home.

At home I am constantly checking on something, whether it be bills, house chores, or general work related issues. That’s all at zero. I’d say it took four days to hit that zone. I talked to an older Canadian last night, who splits his three week vacations between here and Cuba. He said Cuba has better beaches, but it’s an absolute mess otherwise. He also loves Boca-Chica in the DR, but loves the window shopping on the stroll in Sosua. Very nice gentleman. He went out of his way to let ladies know he wasn’t taking any, but bought them drinks to allow them to rest their feet, and he got some female contact in the bargain.

Breakfast at New Garden was 50/50, soggy French toast, overdone eggs, but perfect bacon. Save yourself the anguish and get pancakes, as they are usually done well. I walked over to my AirBnB and am trying to work up the energy to go to the beach. I’ll report on the ratio of Hatiana vs Dominican Chica’s today and this evening.

I went to get a massage at the “professional Massage” spa across the street from the milfy almost white Dominican. This place is on the right hand side of La Puntilla (the road to playa sosua). There was a very cute Haitian there for the past few days. The massage was good, no happy ending, towel covered my junk on the flip and she didn’t graze anything during the leg or pelvic massaging. 1000+400 propina, because she worked up quite a sweat.

I had gone to the beach this morning until around 2pm. Not much happening. I saw one chica with a guy my age. She was all smiles when she was looking in his direction and while talking to his friend. However, when they were not nearby or otherwise occupied, she was wearing a scowl and look of abject boredom. It reminded me of what a guy said in a vlog a few years ago while in Cambodia. He was warning older guys that the women are not smiling when they are facing away from you. 

I went to Jolly Roger for a late lunch/early dinner and had Fish n Chips. Sunk a couple of beers and grabbed my laundry. Nice easy day. I’ll report on the strip later, but the early hours were just the usual suspects prowling about.

« Last Edit: June 06, 2023, 12:22:50 PM by Simptard »


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Re: 5/25/23-6/4/23
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2023, 12:23:00 PM »
6/1/23: Went to Kings every day. I’ve never actually been to Bailee’s. The beach three seperate days. Just nothing worth noting or that struck my fancy. I’ve kind of ruled out the Casino. I wound up staying at Fraggle Rock until closing talking with the owner and Two retired guys. Went on a jaunt down the street for a motorcycle accident, where the victim ran off, wore a British Bobby hat, aimed a crossbow, and wielded a sword. It was a weird night. I will say, if you are stumbling home after 1 AM, or in my case 2:30 AM, the Chica’s left on the street are not to be trusted.

Friday 6/2/23: Hung-over. Some interesting notes from last night. The expats here get Gringo’d on many things. However, tail is not one of them, but it comes with another cost. They are constantly harassed for a steady stream of patronage. Let’s say they like a certain restaurant, or certain girl. Those service providers expect their patronage, and will become insistent that they be the only one the expat uses.

As one explained, he used to go to the beach everyday for a swim and alternate between 3 restaurants. Then they began expecting him to show up, and a little perturbed when he had not. Second, is a few of his regular novia’s would literally block his path on the street while he was attending other business.

The second tidbit is a no-brainer. The Chica’s are hungrier after midnight. But, the Chica’s coming into the bar last night and hanging outside were waiting for drunks to take advantage. One Chica was practically patting a guy down. He was warned by others, but appeared to know what she was trying to get, which was anything of value. She was eyeing pockets, any money on the bar, etc.

Outside as I left alone, there was a threesome of two Chica’s and a Motoconcho. The hot Chica was employing the baby-baby touch rub strategy of Hooker pickpockets,, but I broke free and got loud with her. I’m guessing she was the honeypot, the second fat chica was the bag man, who would take anything the honeypot managed to get off of me and then jump on the motoconcho. The  honeypot could then plead ignorance as she had nothing of mine on her, if I called the Police.

Took a walk down by the beach near noon. It was too hot, so I head back toward New Garden fully intending to take a nap and gather some clothes to stack at the airBnB. However, I took the long way around through PC.

Just across from Casa Valeria was a fat tittied milf in a yellow sun dress offering massage. I walked past and then said F-it. She was glad to have the customer and I was glad her massage was so sensual, with no shying away from the nooks and crannies. A true woman of experience and skill. She used most of the hour before the undercarriage sweep and happy ending offer. She popped her big-ole mammaries out and went into a two handed taint to tip massage. It went on for a good 10 minutes, until I asked for more oil, and a the logical conclusion was served. Man, I love a good hand-job. I thought about negotiating other services, but her butt was too big for my taste. 2000 down.

I’m off to shower up and frustrate the Chica’s on PC. Maybe I’ll get some more Jagerschnitzel?
Power went out. There goes my shower. Truly an expat experience. There are so many girls down on the strip tonight, you can almost smell the puta. I stumbled upon my missed opportunity from last night. 5 foot nothing 90 pounds, Thalia. I’m “planning” to bang her out tomorrow. I almost want to twist her up into a pretzel right now, but biology, LOL.

The Strip was actually a little too much for me tonight, if that’s possible for some of you to understand? So, I’m back at Fraggle Rock/Boz’s. It’s so interesting speaking to the expats here. Lots of good info if you are planning to experiment with living here. I ran into Danny from Malibu's briefly at Schlemmers Stube. Truly nice guy.

Saturday 06/03/23: overcast, so beach is out. The locals are blasting 4 different kinds of music on La Puntilla. Hung over from two late nights at Fraggle Rock/Boz’s. I’m probably gonna’ call over Thalia from the strip last night and wrap up this trip with a sober day. It’s never any fun flying hung over.

5 hours later (in the French narrator from SpongeBob voice)

I F’d-up. I made the mistake of getting another massage at the all Haitian shop on the left hand side of La Puntilla walking away from Flip-Flop toward the beach. It’s the first one on the road.

Dee did a pretty good sensual relaxing massage. Not therapeutic.  However, she wouldn’t let me not cum. Goddamn Minx insisted on getting a shot out. I told her to stop and she literally said no. I even told her she could keep a 1000 tip. She refused and kept stroking with alternating grips and action. f--king comical. Dee  refused to not give me a happy ending.

I’ll have to see where I’m at later as far as banging out Thalia. She might have to go back in the Rolodex. (Note: was warned by another individual that she is more trouble than she is worth) I’m a f--kin’ dummy, LOL. But, then again your stomach doesn’t care what you ate 30 minutes ago when you were hungry, and heavy balls don’t care how they are emptied.

Fortune has smiled. It is pouring in Sosua. The only girls on the street are the proverbial rats with umbrella’s. Apparently my early evening handy was fortuitous.

Just turning in, and some guy is arguing with security and two Chica’s about them stealing his money. Chica proof your rooms, or keep a separate crash pad. These Chica’s don’t care.

6/4/23: All packed and getting ready to check out of both places In 3 hours. I just need to empty the ball bag for the flight home. I went out looking for one last massage. Everyone was still closed except for a Granny on the right hand side heading toward Playa Alicia. She was completely whorish, so it was a forgone conclusion I was getting something. She shorted on the massage by about 25 minutes, but stripped down completely and gave a mediocre blowjob. The handy/bj combo finished the deal.



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