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Author Topic: Need some input...........  (Read 2591 times)

Hobby

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Need some input...........
« on: December 31, 2022, 08:22:33 PM »
I am not a newbie but just starting going to Sosua in 2019.  A few years ago I met a fine chica outside of Sosua and we have been having a nice relationship.  She is no pro, actually a school teacher.  Any way she has invited me down to meet her family and I am not sure if I should go.  It's in La Vega and she wants me to stay at her house. I don't think anything bad may happen but I've never done this before with a DR woman.  On my first visit in 2019 I went to a bikini party at Oasis and a Dominican guy tried to set me up.  He saw me come in alone and tried befriending me and asking where I was staying and if he could drive me back to Sosua and all these other questions.  Never the less I declined and got out of there.  Anyway I don't know if my steady chica has brothers, cousins, and uncles and I don't want to be the American surrounded by Dominicans all week as I have no idea what her relatives may think.  By the way she told her family I speak little Spanish-she speaks english (even though I practice on duolingo) and she told me her family speaks no english at all.  I had one other chica that I did an overnight with a year ago and I drove her home in the morning and it looked like the worse slum I could image-dirt roads, out houses instead of indoor toilets and no electricity.  She asked me to stay a while but I declined and if it was not 8AM in the morning I probably would have been "got".  Has anyone else done this before and what was your experience - only serious answers as I don't want to get into a pissing contest. She is a really sweet and very fine chica but I don't know where this is going and I don't want to be there all week and look like a human ATM machine. I might try staying at a nearby hotel but the hotels I have seen online around La Vega look like crap.  Any ideas!!!

And now off to celebrate the new year.  Happy new year.

Hobby
« Last Edit: December 31, 2022, 09:19:13 PM by Hobby »

cknice11

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2022, 08:42:44 PM »
When I'm doubt trust your gut.  I got a regular in Santo Domingo and I've stayed in her apartment a few times for a few days and everything was good. I had known her for a couple years though and even still I kept my wits with me. None of us know the chick to say rather or not you will be safe. So I say when in doubt follow what your instincts are telling you to do and not what the little head is telling you to do.

stinqu

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2022, 08:50:39 PM »
Man it's a hard  call.I did it once (2015 OR16) in La Vega with a chica I was hot for, it was ok . but never again. You are an ATM with legs to her family.

Viva La Vega

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2022, 09:08:07 PM »
1/ Go

2/ Fly into STI and stay at the hotel by the airport a couple nights, get a car, it's only half hour at most to La Vega. Commit to a day trip first, mama is gonna cook a nice lunch. Offer to go to the colmado to get some groceries. Add a case of grande presidente if the brothers and cousins and neighbours show up with a speaker and a hookah.

I drove a chica home that I knew from when she was working at a hotel in another country. She was a close friend of a girlfriend and I had promised to meet for a drink.

Place was down some side roads behind Oasis. As she told me to pull over and park to the right, my heart sank. I was looking at a dirt yard, tin roof, no windows. As i got out and walked around the front of the car, she got out and walked around the back. Asked where I was going as she pulled out the fob to open the electric gates on her place!

Saved her dollars working offshore and had a nice two bed house with two apartments upstairs. You never know.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2022, 09:11:05 PM by Viva La Vega »

cknice11

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2022, 09:16:12 PM »
Another thing to add. If she has some good looking family members you a new smashing them soon too lol

Jazzy2019

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2022, 10:05:46 PM »
A week is like forever. Give her two nights. If it goes well you can stay longer the next time you visit. Like La Vega I was really uptight about meeting one of my ex novias family  expecting destitute poverty. Turned out the family was middle class and lived in a nice place. I suspect with your friend being a teacher you’ll find out that her family also is middle class. Keep your visit short and you’ll be okay. She’ll take care of the language barrier. I will say though that unless you two are officially a couple there’s no reason for you to meet the family.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2022, 10:07:18 PM by Jazzy2019 »

Silkyslim75

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2023, 11:10:25 AM »
If anyone can shed some light on this please do. I heard when a chica is seen with a  gringo in her neighborhood, it is automatically assumed that she is a prostitute, especially if it is an older guy.
I heard that is what the locals think and that her reputation will take a hit.

murano2010

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2023, 12:11:25 PM »
My two cents.  Warning, long message.     1st off, it's very risky putting your personal welfare in the hands of any woman, PERIOD.   And for you to take it to another level, and let a woman from another country be in charge of your personal welfare away from where you are from, that is even more risky.   Many of men , including myself, have given women too much credit.  Put ourselves in vulnerable positions with women.  Usually focused on the wrong thing.

Treating many of those women as if they are our equal in exercising common sense, and giving them benefits of doubt on their ability to protect us from harm. No way.  My default setting with enough women is, I may have to think for myself, and sometimes even for them.  Because generally speaking, enough women are not logical or practical in their thinking.   Especially in regards to the safety of a man.

You might find, that although the woman thinks its a good idea for you to break bread with her family.   You have no clue what you may have to put up with, in the spirit of you trying to be sociable with her and them.   Uncomfortable in the house.  Hard time communicating with others.  General boredom.  Intoxicated visitors/family etc.   An emergency of some sort that happens in your presence, and them looking to you, to resolve it. 

If you dont live in the DR, is she really your GF?   Im not saying that she is with another man.  But why are you so special, when there are so many other men she could be with that actually live in the DR?  Foreigner expats as well as locals?   You mean to tell me, she could not find another decent man beside you to have a relationship with?   Without it being long distance?    They got Dom Cupid, Tinder, Badoo, and many other ways a chick can find a boyfriend in her own country.   But she chose you?    That doesnt give you something to think about?

Perhaps you are enamored by how nice she treats you, and having fun when you are in the country?   What is she doing with her juice box until you get back there?   A lot of masturbation?   If she is not looking for payment from any men in country,  then is she getting a release from other men until you get back there to put in work?   Once you leave again, is she back to waiting for your return before having sex.   

If the woman is having sex with other men until you return ( not prostituting ),  can she really be trusted with your personal welfare?   Especially if you and her are probably not even talking about how she gets her needs met between visits.   Both of you may not even talk much about it.   Including what you are doing back home, getting your needs met.   

What you may have is an arrangement,  not a real relationship.   Does she even know much about you?   I mean info she pursued on her own?  Not what you volunteered to tell her.  My point here is this.  A lot of men consort with foreign women.  But they never pay much attention to the fact, that the women never really ask a man about himself.   Because deep down, the women really dont care about the individual.  They care about what he represents to them, and her family and friends.  A resource.  A status symbol.

What does she pursue knowing about his family, his schooling, his childhood, his work, his interests and hobbies?   His thoughts on religion or politics?  Usually none of that is discussed.     You get the idea.   We have these so called relationships, where nobody really knows much about you.  Meanwhile us men know more about the women, than they know about us.  We ignore that glaring detail. 

Sorry for the length.  But I wrote you a book to get across, you just need to be careful entrusting a woman with your personal welfare.  Being invited to the family thing sounds nice.  But you dont know what you may be dealing with.  At minimum, you can easily be the designated wallet to pay for things when the need arises.

But then, a womans family can help the woman play the long game with you too.  Dont let you pay for anything.  Give you food and shelter.  Eventually, if you continue with the woman, you may be obligated to do something, that will cost way above what they paid to accommodate you.   If a member of her family is hurt, injured or sick. 

You are going to be informed about things going on in her life.   You may be expected to step up.  Men are the ones who are often more compassionate.  Will feel sorry and want to help a woman with her problem.    Women on the other hand, can be cutthroat.  Lying and manipulating a man to no end.   

A saying I use.  Be careful what you get for free, or what you are impressed by.  Because you dont know how much that free stuff may cost you in the long term.   And be careful if you are not fixed.    Chick could try to pin a baby on you.   Ask TMD , he'll explain how that works.   
Where you stand on the issue depends on where you sit.  The words enough, some, many , to whom it applies to, does not mean ALL of any people, places or things.  If you cant, dont or wont learn from friends, family or your peers, dont worry the locals will teach you, and you will learn the hard way.

Stones

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2023, 01:13:26 PM »
Man it's a hard  call.I did it once (2015 OR16) in La Vega with a chica I was hot for, it was ok . but never again. You are an ATM with legs to her family.
[/b]

LOL. I have told the story about how I went through an entire family of ADULT chicas -- the chica, her mom and a couple of aunties. To this day I send the family a 'lil something during the holidays. Incredible experience overall, especially if you are an older monger.

Silkyslim75

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2023, 01:23:47 PM »
Murano, you made some very good points.

metro457

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2023, 02:22:11 PM »
also did you plan or intend on having sex with her at her place?

mvagusta16

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2023, 02:51:52 PM »
Murano, you made some very good points.

Agreed, very informative

ToToMarauder

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2023, 03:25:36 PM »
this is one of perhaps best advise on here ...


My two cents.  Warning, long message.     1st off, it's very risky putting your personal welfare in the hands of any woman, PERIOD.   And for you to take it to another level, and let a woman from another country be in charge of your personal welfare away from where you are from, that is even more risky.   Many of men , including myself, have given women too much credit.  Put ourselves in vulnerable positions with women.  Usually focused on the wrong thing.

Treating many of those women as if they are our equal in exercising common sense, and giving them benefits of doubt on their ability to protect us from harm. No way.  My default setting with enough women is, I may have to think for myself, and sometimes even for them.  Because generally speaking, enough women are not logical or practical in their thinking.   Especially in regards to the safety of a man.

You might find, that although the woman thinks its a good idea for you to break bread with her family.   You have no clue what you may have to put up with, in the spirit of you trying to be sociable with her and them.   Uncomfortable in the house.  Hard time communicating with others.  General boredom.  Intoxicated visitors/family etc.   An emergency of some sort that happens in your presence, and them looking to you, to resolve it. 

If you dont live in the DR, is she really your GF?   Im not saying that she is with another man.  But why are you so special, when there are so many other men she could be with that actually live in the DR?  Foreigner expats as well as locals?   You mean to tell me, she could not find another decent man beside you to have a relationship with?   Without it being long distance?    They got Dom Cupid, Tinder, Badoo, and many other ways a chick can find a boyfriend in her own country.   But she chose you?    That doesnt give you something to think about?

Perhaps you are enamored by how nice she treats you, and having fun when you are in the country?   What is she doing with her juice box until you get back there?   A lot of masturbation?   If she is not looking for payment from any men in country,  then is she getting a release from other men until you get back there to put in work?   Once you leave again, is she back to waiting for your return before having sex.   

If the woman is having sex with other men until you return ( not prostituting ),  can she really be trusted with your personal welfare?   Especially if you and her are probably not even talking about how she gets her needs met between visits.   Both of you may not even talk much about it.   Including what you are doing back home, getting your needs met.   

What you may have is an arrangement,  not a real relationship.   Does she even know much about you?   I mean info she pursued on her own?  Not what you volunteered to tell her.  My point here is this.  A lot of men consort with foreign women.  But they never pay much attention to the fact, that the women never really ask a man about himself.   Because deep down, the women really dont care about the individual.  They care about what he represents to them, and her family and friends.  A resource.  A status symbol.

What does she pursue knowing about his family, his schooling, his childhood, his work, his interests and hobbies?   His thoughts on religion or politics?  Usually none of that is discussed.     You get the idea.   We have these so called relationships, where nobody really knows much about you.  Meanwhile us men know more about the women, than they know about us.  We ignore that glaring detail. 

Sorry for the length.  But I wrote you a book to get across, you just need to be careful entrusting a woman with your personal welfare.  Being invited to the family thing sounds nice.  But you dont know what you may be dealing with.  At minimum, you can easily be the designated wallet to pay for things when the need arises.

But then, a womans family can help the woman play the long game with you too.  Dont let you pay for anything.  Give you food and shelter.  Eventually, if you continue with the woman, you may be obligated to do something, that will cost way above what they paid to accommodate you.   If a member of her family is hurt, injured or sick. 

You are going to be informed about things going on in her life.   You may be expected to step up.  Men are the ones who are often more compassionate.  Will feel sorry and want to help a woman with her problem.    Women on the other hand, can be cutthroat.  Lying and manipulating a man to no end.   

A saying I use.  Be careful what you get for free, or what you are impressed by.  Because you dont know how much that free stuff may cost you in the long term.   And be careful if you are not fixed.    Chick could try to pin a baby on you.   Ask TMD , he'll explain how that works.
binary thinking at its best

Hobby

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2023, 06:58:45 PM »
Fellas, all great information.  This is what this board should be for IMHO. I am in my early fifties so I have dealt with women's deceptions for years.  I just did not know if anyone had some extra info on DR culture-is this type of thing normal, etc, etc.  Great point by Sliky-I am not sure how her friends or neighbors or family would think of me and if that affects her social reputation. As far as the points by Murano, I understand.  I never said it was a relationship, it is an arrangement.  She is not my girlfriend but I have been going quite frequently (not writing reports on these times) and we have been seeing each other at that time.  By frequently I mean every other month or so for 10-12 days. Now I still don't believe she is my girlfriend but I wanted to hear from others if this type of situation is normal in DR.  I will admit the good points by Murano-look I am a man in my early fifties and that is an issue right there.  I live in NYC and by USA standards I do ok for myself, which is how I am able to go so often and rent a villa to myself and a car and the like.  But if I met a 28 year old DR woman in NYC that looks like a light skinned version of Ayisha Diaz, would she really be seeing me if I was not putting out some major funds - probably not..  I am not an over weight brother with a white T as I work out regularly and as they say "black don't crack" but still the age difference is an issue.  So far I have not given her any money directly but I will say I do spend a pretty penny when she is with me-nice restaurants, clubs in Cabarete and excursions when we have the time.  The points I wanted to know about was how would I communicate with everyone, and what about being a walking ATM as some mentioned.  I really don't fear for my safety but I have to keep this in mind-being in a foreign country alone and not speaking the local language and I have no idea were I am staying surrounded by people that make 1/100th what I make for a living does make me think...As some mentioned she may be middle class as she is a teacher and I met some of her girlfriends and they are all in the same socio economic class (at least I think).  Has her own car and all that but at some point I am sure I'll be asked for some major funds.  I am starting to think this visit may be that time. When I met her outside Sosua a year or so ago I played it off as if I have never been to Sosua.  I mentioned Sosua and even classico to her one time and got the stink face.  Not sure how she knew about classico but whatever.  My point is that I have really no idea what she is doing when I am gone and I really don't care to be honest. I am not looking to have kids with this women and settle down and so I have to think what is the point of meeting her entire family.  My opinion is that it just may be the long game and soon there will be requests for major money.  Anyway thanks for the point and I'll have to think this over as I was not looking forward to meeting her family in the first place.  But as one poster said-follow my instincts and don't listen to the little head.

Hobby

PoonTangClan

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Re: Need some input...........
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2023, 08:02:03 PM »
Fellas, all great information.  This is what this board should be for IMHO. I am in my early fifties so I have dealt with women's deceptions for years.  I just did not know if anyone had some extra info on DR culture-is this type of thing normal, etc, etc.  Great point by Sliky-I am not sure how her friends or neighbors or family would think of me and if that affects her social reputation. As far as the points by Murano, I understand.  I never said it was a relationship, it is an arrangement.  She is not my girlfriend but I have been going quite frequently (not writing reports on these times) and we have been seeing each other at that time.  By frequently I mean every other month or so for 10-12 days. Now I still don't believe she is my girlfriend but I wanted to hear from others if this type of situation is normal in DR.  I will admit the good points by Murano-look I am a man in my early fifties and that is an issue right there.  I live in NYC and by USA standards I do ok for myself, which is how I am able to go so often and rent a villa to myself and a car and the like.  But if I met a 28 year old DR woman in NYC that looks like a light skinned version of Ayisha Diaz, would she really be seeing me if I was not putting out some major funds - probably not..  I am not an over weight brother with a white T as I work out regularly and as they say "black don't crack" but still the age difference is an issue.  So far I have not given her any money directly but I will say I do spend a pretty penny when she is with me-nice restaurants, clubs in Cabarete and excursions when we have the time.  The points I wanted to know about was how would I communicate with everyone, and what about being a walking ATM as some mentioned.  I really don't fear for my safety but I have to keep this in mind-being in a foreign country alone and not speaking the local language and I have no idea were I am staying surrounded by people that make 1/100th what I make for a living does make me think...As some mentioned she may be middle class as she is a teacher and I met some of her girlfriends and they are all in the same socio economic class (at least I think).  Has her own car and all that but at some point I am sure I'll be asked for some major funds.  I am starting to think this visit may be that time. When I met her outside Sosua a year or so ago I played it off as if I have never been to Sosua.  I mentioned Sosua and even classico to her one time and got the stink face.  Not sure how she knew about classico but whatever.  My point is that I have really no idea what she is doing when I am gone and I really don't care to be honest. I am not looking to have kids with this women and settle down and so I have to think what is the point of meeting her entire family.  My opinion is that it just may be the long game and soon there will be requests for major money.  Anyway thanks for the point and I'll have to think this over as I was not looking forward to meeting her family in the first place.  But as one poster said-follow my instincts and don't listen to the little head.

Hobby

Hobby,

I don’t think the age difference is as major as you think. At least if she’s over 25, in my opinion. In many Latin American cultures, it’s not completely unusual for a woman to date an older man, so long as you’re not an obvious senior citizen, lol.

As far as the nice restaurants and excursions that you partake in go, the question is this: would you still go to nice restaurants and go out on excursions even if you were by yourself? If the answer is yes, then I wouldn’t look at those things as something you do for HER. That’s something that you do for YOU, and of course, if she’s with you, naturally, she’ll be able to enjoy some of those luxuries. I wouldn’t look at that as a financial investment into her per se.

Lastly, if she wants you to meet the family, consider this: does she know the parameters of the relationship? There’s a possibility that if she’s taking this step with you, that she doesn’t. If not, you need to let her know that you’re not ready or interested in marriage, kids, etc. Give her the option of making an informed decision as to how she wants to roll with you, so there are no brutally hurt feelings later.

If you decide to meet her family regardless, reduce the event to a simple meet-and-greet, and then cut out. Stop by, have your chica introduce you to everyone, then hop in your rental car, take her with you, and dip out somewhere. Maybe go somewhere on a date. If you chill with the family too long or too often in a home setting, it creates a comfort zone for them that will make them feel confident enough to start asking you for shit later.

 







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