Trip to Nairobi Kenya coming up in April

[murano2010]

Yeah, I think (I'm hoping) that I am just being paranoid about the potential drama that could pop up.  I've done a bit of research for this trip because I am trying to be as prepared as I can, and I've read some things on ISG about Nairobi and Mombasa that made think I have to be on alert with Kenyan women.  Some instances where a girl gets to your room and just causes absolute hell and the situation gets stressful and dangerous.  It is good to hear that perhaps I'm probably taking it a bit too far and that the typical girl will probably be fine.  I just have slight worries because I don't have the time to exchange pleasantries with these girls and more or less have just propositioned them from the start.   That makes me worried that maybe that'll attract girls looking for trouble, but maybe not.  I hope not!


On tipping: That makes a lot of sense.  I thought it might be best to preemptively tip, but I trust your understanding of the typical Kenyan mindset when it comes to tipping and it makes a lot of sense that I should use it as a reward rather than as a bribe ahead of time.  Maybe it's just that I'm accustomed to giving tips even when unwarranted; I am an American, after all haha.  I'll take your advice and wait to see how the security treats me and I'll ask them how they would handle a hypothetical problem with a girl. 


On pre-gaming before arrival:  Yeah, it does seem like maybe I am too early with this.  Some girls have kind of scoffed at me looking to set up something so early in advance.  A positive from this approach though is it is helpful to kind of gather intel on the attitudes and tactics some girls use.  I am getting an idea of what prices are reasonable and what are outlandish or unacceptable.  Kenyan women are not shy about trying to start high in negotiations, and they're definitely much more direct and aggressive in negotiations.  Many girls have already asked for gifts or to pay for "medical bills"  .

I hope you have a good time in Kenya, brother.

I think you are on the right track, by gathering intel and interacting with the chicks early.  And like I said, that is a good thing.  You are discerning for yourself how enough of the chicks operate.  Not just relying on others to steer you, especially if you arent doing things a certain way.   Once you have boots on the ground, you will be the one to decide on what works for you, when and where you end up in Nairobi.

Just like I did.  I have 4 visits under my belt. And each of my visits, my interactions helped me to discern that a lot of African women have things in common with women in the DR.  Like the begging and the scheming before they even meet you.   You as an individual knows what you want and what you can tolerate.

Just the info on how some of the chicks are focused on money expectations on the dating site sort of contradicts that vibe generalization right off the bat.   You will get to see for yourself how much vibing plays a part ( or the lack thereof ) when you get there.

Nobody here can tell you what you dont NEED in terms of the information that you will apply when you interact with women in Nairobi.  You are you, and everybody else is not you.   So what you experience with these women is going be tailored to you.   If some things said here do match what happens to you, fine.  Im sure there will be some things said here, that wont even apply to you.     You'll see what's relevant or irrelevant once you are there.   

[murano2010]

On tipping: That makes a lot of sense.  I thought it might be best to preemptively tip, but I trust your understanding of the typical Kenyan mindset when it comes to tipping and it makes a lot of sense that I should use it as a reward rather than as a bribe ahead of time.  Maybe it's just that I'm accustomed to giving tips even when unwarranted; I am an American, after all haha.  I'll take your advice and wait to see how the security treats me and I'll ask them how they would handle a hypothetical problem with a girl.

 

I said this trip I was going to scale back on tipping/buying food and acting like a typical American.  I must say, I feel sort of relieved at the moment.   I started practicing that policy since Ive been here in Kileleshwa.  My 1st two days here at my new Airbnb, Ive been moving like a typical resident here.

I know that if I started tipping and doing favors for these guards, they would start acting different towards me.  I really dont need that fake friendship.  Or putting a target on my back.  Or making me seem like just another American that leads with his wallet. 

I truly feel that is how some of them perceive us, even though we think spending our money on them makes them like us more.  It doesnt.  In some cases they can have contempt for the fact that you are flaunting your money in their faces as if we are looking down on them. 

And feel they NEED to be compensated.  People worldwide take advantage of foreigners who come to a country with their conditioned thinking of feeling sorry or taking responsibility for locals circumstances.   Meanwhile, nobody else living or staying there is doing what foreigners do.   Like paying extra for security to do their jobs. 

The real test will be in March when I stay at my building in the Westlands.  All the guards there know me.  They have benefitted from my generosity before.  Lets see how I operate with them this visit.  Will I be able to resist the temptation to tip or buy food?   The answer is yes.  Ive done the same thing, where I live in Sosua.   

What typically happens in Sosua, once you stop giving, thats when you see a different vibe coming from the receivers.  Almost right away.   Now I will get the chance to see how these guards behave when I phase out the unnecessary gifting. 

I can start by not offering any money, unless they provide a direct service to me.    Even when it comes to offering them food or snacks, I can scale back the frequency of doing that.   Especially doing it so early in my stay. 

What will help, is seeing how they behave towards me when they notice that Im not giving them money or food like I did before.  If their attitude changes, that will only work in my favor, and against them ever getting anything more from me, than me paying for a specific service they provide.   

Thing was, I never gave them the chance to see how they act when there are no extra bennies.   Like some men dont realize their women dont give a shit about them, until the gravy train stops. 

[murano2010]

Yes, I remember reading about that weird situation in your report.  Seemed very suspect.  It was a good thing you caught them slipping and were aware that it was potentially a setup.  This is why I am approaching these Kenyan girls with a lot of caution.  Maybe they will be fine, but they seem to be more dangerous schemers than Thai girls (who are typically sweethearts).  A Thai girl will just give you a sob story about a family member needing their medical bills paid...whereas some Kenyan girls I've talked to so far seem like they have some strange and unsettling plans below the surface.  It's just a lot more in your face that they are trying to take your money when you talk to Kenyans.

Your hunches are valid in regards to how enough of these African women operate.   You will see that it wont matter if they are pros or non pros, the M.O. of what you observe will duplicate itself over and over. 

It doesnt even have to be about how women behave.  You can get the same thing from men/males.  There is a YouTuber that has a travel channel.  He rides a recumbent tricycle.   Once he went to the Kibera slum in Nairobi.   He found a outside kitchen/restaurant.   He saw some food being prepared, asked how much is it.

The cook told him 200 ksh per plate.  He ordered the food, bought fried fish from the vendor across the street.  Sat down and ate the food, and shared it with a local girl.  He was vibing with the girl.  The cook came over and asked could he have some of his fish.   The cook got some of the mans food.

When it was time to pay, the cook had the nerve to charge the Ytuber 1000 ksh?   That definitely sounds like some DR shit.   The price went from 200 ksh to 1000ksh, even though the guy shared his food. 

As that shit was going down, do you think the girl that helped eat the mans food stood up for the foreigner?  Of course not, she ate her food, and eventually bounced. 
The point to be made, is that foreigners put targets on their backs by how they interact with the locals.   Enough Kenyans will prove that being generous towards them doesnt necessarily result in appreciation.   

If anything, being thoughtful and generous can backfire and work against you.   He has a tendency of paying for shit and not getting his change.  He's on YT.  People are watching him do that.  What do you think happens when he gets to the next village where people have seen his videos?   

One doesnt have to be on YT.  One still is being watched in how they carry themselves and how you interact with locals.  When locals see us treating small amounts of cash like it aint nothing, they pay attention to that.   A lot of us look very foolish to locals who perceive us as wasting money and overpaying.   They may not say it to our faces, but trust that is something they observe about enough foreigners. 

The foreigners that know how to keep their money in their pocket where it belongs, those are the ones that garner more respect from the locals.  Locals that easily get guilt money from foreigners, deep down dont respect or appreciate them.   It's just the routine of getting something from somebody who they feel doesnt know how to stand up for themselves when approached.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_ThPjhvSTE&t=1960s

This is the video of the travel Vlogger on You Tube, Kino Yves getting scammed by a local Kenyan cook in Kibera.  The interaction starts @12:24 , and the scam commences @27:13.   Remember the Ytuber asked for the price in the very beginning.  He vibed with the girl and the cook that scammed him.  In the end it didnt matter what the vibe was.  He still was open to being scammed.    The same thing that can happen to a guy that thinks having a vibe with an African woman means he doesnt need to know what the cost is for doing business or spending time with a chick.

The young Ytuber Auston Hollerman had to learn that lesson himself.  He met quite a few Kenyan women that he "vibed" with.  Women who eventually had "some strange and unsettling plans below the surface."   Things you started to observe yourself and you havent even got to Nairobi yet.